I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
