Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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