Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
