Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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