Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
