omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
