Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
