Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
