i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize