She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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