Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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