It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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