you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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