You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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