took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
