Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I want is dick and wine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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