i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
