My room smells like vodka and shame
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
