I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize