I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
