hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
