everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
