she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
