this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
