Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
jump out the window naked night went bad
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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