We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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