Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
