i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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