I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
