I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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