Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize