The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
