it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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