So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
