I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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