I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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