I never want to see another naked old woman again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
