seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
