That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
