Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
