i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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