get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Randomize
