Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
