Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
