Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
