I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
