If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
