you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
