Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
