Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
