"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
