I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
