Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
