Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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