Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
