I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize