Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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