why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
3pm strippers are depressing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
