You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
