What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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