my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
no you cant smoke seaweed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
