Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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