He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize