OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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